Sometimes when I look back at life,important people and how life has shaped,I’m amazed. There is so much we try and control,but life chooses to control us. I remember as a teenager worrying about my life choices as I took Humanities and decided to pursue Psychology.The only thing over the years,that has remained constant is the ability to dream, to be passionate about work and somewhere perceptive about people.Life amazed me by providing opportunities,when I saw none.I have always wondered if being good,being punctual and choosing to follow your heart works?
It does work only if we choose to be patient.Somewhere in your 30’s sometimes you feel like you are coming to being. Who said life stops at thirty? May be when you are in your 30’s,you allow life to happen to you. As I write this,I think of a yacht party I went to,where overlooking the seas,I felt I was ready to surrender.I remember when I was 20 years, I had this dream,which continues to inspire me and over years now I have understood it.
I saw these two lines
Faith to Fathom
Strength to Surrender
It’s strange how I oscillate when it comes to faith nd then strangely find it comforting in moments.Its so many years since the dream happened,but I guess Im beginning to see what it means to surrender.
On the occasion of Children’s Day,as I look around I wonder what are skills that children need to be equipped with. There are 2 skills that can help children in self preservation and also help them form healthy relationships. These skills would be learning to be compassionate,sensitive to the needs of others and secondly learning to be assertive. Developing a sense of concern for others can go a long way
in forming emotional bonds. At the same time,it may be crucial to stand up for one’s own rights without being aggressive. Assertiveness and Compassion are some of the most effective ways to combat violence. Teach your children to care for themselves as well as others!
One of the most well researched story and quite some shocking revelations out there! Must read. Well written by Gayatri Jayaraman http://m.indiatoday.in/story/religion-of-the-unfaithful-adultery-divorce-marriage-relationship/1/399472.html
So my daughter saw an Idea commercial and felt that it was prejudiced in it’s outlook towards women. So here is my story about how my 5 year old daughter learnt to be socially conscious.Sometimes I feel my social service genes and attitude has rubbed off.Any opinions?
Sometimes I feel there are so many stories of pain, struggle, hope and resilience buried deep within me.These are tales, that clients have trusted me with and they are sacred.I’m sure clients wonder,what do I do with them.They continue to live a silent life within me and no one has access to them.I remember,when I was in college,a friend of me would tell me how I love listening to stories.Somehow in psychotherapy, I do that.When people ask me, what do I do,I say, I listen.I create a facilitative environment where people can share and be themselves. It’s a privelege to be trusted.Sometimes,when clients walk in the room, with their pain,all I can see is the strong will power to recover and hope.I see courage that each client brings in,every time, they choose to share their deepest buried secret.I owe gratitude to them and that’s why I let the story lie deep within the recesses of my mind and soul.
Today when my daughter was playing in the garden and I was watching over her, I suddenly heard a boy of about 6 or 7 years scream out loudly to call his mother. After the boy called couple of times and his mother didn’t pay attention to him, he shouted loudly and said “If you don’t come right now Mom, I would kill myself”. ( conversation was in Hindi).
I couldn’t believe what I heard. I approached the mother, who by now was standing with her young boy and scolding him. I asked the mother about where he had heard this and the mother said she had no clue. When I asked the young boy,he mentioned how on a reality show, he had heard a participant say this line.
Just yesterday twice on Indian sitcom, I heard the characters,speak about self-harm and the desire to end their lives. These serials run anytime between 7 to 9 pm – primetime slots where children are likely to watch television. I consciously monitor TV timings for my daughter, but I have come to realise that I can’t have complete TV control.
At a time, where suicide rates are increasing among children and young people, are we glorifying death? Is it right to promote suicide on television and portray it as the only alternative when we find life meaningless? I don’t remember hearing or knowing about suicide till I was in my teens. English shows are censored beyond recognition in India, but does the Indian Censor Board set the same standard on Hindi channels? It is our responsibility to create resilience in children set examples by using characters who have a will and desire to bounce back. As a psychologist and a parent, I monitor and limit TV hour to just children’s cartoons, but I can’t control everything that’s been played on television.
In Indian settings, many people have 1 television and all family members watch the same serial. The very thought that television is introducing the term suicide and portraying it is heart wrenching. I know I can’t control what my daughter sees on television, but I can at least choose how she sees it and what meaning she makes of it, by talking and listening to her.
Research shows how suicides result from ‘CopyCat ‘ Phenomenon.Therefore it is in the interest of children and adults that suicide is not glorified