Gratitude is a highly underestimated virtue. We go through the rigmarole of life without acknowledging or thanking life for the various gifts that it showers on us. We accept them as pure coincidences or just a matter of good luck.
I think gratitude towards our loved ones is becoming a thing of the past. Somewhere we take them for granted and believe that they were just doing their role. We often forget that they did not simply do their roles mechanically; they also ensured that we were made to feel special and gave us the warmth that we needed.
I was reintroduced to the concept of gratitude when I was reading a book on Positive Psychology. In the book they talk about “Naikan” a Japanese technique of reflection. The technique can be used on a daily basis. The word Naikan means inside looking or introspection.It is primarily based on 3 questions:
What have I received from…
What have I given to…
What troubles and difficulties have I caused to…
The purpose is to use these questions to help one bring focus to how one has contributed and how one’s life has been enriched by the existing relationships and interactions that one may engage in on a daily basis or over an extended period of time.
Try using the technique and see how it impacts you.
Will do the next blog on guidelines to increase one’s sense of gratitude.
In today’s age and time, we have armed ourselves with weapons of escape that never existed before and these weapons can pretty much ruin the social fabric of our lives. The more we are connected to the world outside, may be less we are connected to the world within.In our pursuit for being updated and me time, we are choosing to isolate ourselves from real people, real conversations.It is so much easier to bury one’s head to one’s cell phone or Ipad post a bad day or a fight and find solace in the so called virtual space.May be more relationships would be mended if people looked at each other more, people spoke, chose to make peace in each other’s presence and not via What’s app. Sometimes I wonder if we are losing ourselves to technology and we are consciously or unconsciously allowing ourselves to be swayed by the information overload that the virtual world entails.Am I saying that don’t use technology, ofcourse not.We cant live without technology,but let it not substitute for the warmth that human connection in physicality provides.A big part of me wonders if we would lose the joy of holding hands with our partner, singing ,talking to our baby just because everyone is too busy looking at a screen.
One of the most well researched story and quite some shocking revelations out there! Must read. Well written by Gayatri Jayaraman http://m.indiatoday.in/story/religion-of-the-unfaithful-adultery-divorce-marriage-relationship/1/399472.html
So my daughter saw an Idea commercial and felt that it was prejudiced in it’s outlook towards women. So here is my story about how my 5 year old daughter learnt to be socially conscious.Sometimes I feel my social service genes and attitude has rubbed off.Any opinions?
Sometimes I feel there are so many stories of pain, struggle, hope and resilience buried deep within me.These are tales, that clients have trusted me with and they are sacred.I’m sure clients wonder,what do I do with them.They continue to live a silent life within me and no one has access to them.I remember,when I was in college,a friend of me would tell me how I love listening to stories.Somehow in psychotherapy, I do that.When people ask me, what do I do,I say, I listen.I create a facilitative environment where people can share and be themselves. It’s a privelege to be trusted.Sometimes,when clients walk in the room, with their pain,all I can see is the strong will power to recover and hope.I see courage that each client brings in,every time, they choose to share their deepest buried secret.I owe gratitude to them and that’s why I let the story lie deep within the recesses of my mind and soul.
Some conversations fill our heart with happiness. Strange as it may sound,there was a time couple of years back when I realized all my closest friends have moved out of the city or moved abroad. But what remains constant is our ability to connect with each other,no matter when we speak. We pick the phone and start from where we left.The boundaries of distance, time barely matter.May be with age, the perspective on friendship has changed. Now I feel the need to be around people who are kind, compassionate and warm.So the need for mere intellectual connections or people who validate myself is less.In these friendships, I find genuineness,deep sense of connection and most importantly realizing how our conversations flow. So whether we discuss Pink Floyd, Psychology, Children,or Life we deeply understand..and even the long the long silences which linger between two phone calls disappear in that moment.
Sometimes, even in a relationship, people may be alone.
Then there are times when people may be alone, yet feel connected within.